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Desiree Hartsock Blogs ‘Bachelor,’ Admits Some Bonds Should Be Further Along

Former Bachelorette Desiree Hartsock will be blogging exclusively with Us Weekly each week about her opinion on Peter Weber‘s journey to find love on The Bachelor. Check back every Tuesday for her recap!

I honestly can’t believe hometowns are just one episode away! It feels like the relationships at this point — and some of Peter’s clarity — should be further along. The drama this season not only took precedence over some of the serious talks we didn’t get to see (if they happened at all) and it’s made the relationships suffer a bit as well.

Madison and Peter are clearly a great match together. The fact that he says it comes “easy” and refers to her as his “best friend” are HUGE indications of a strong partnership — also a mature indication of what lasting relationships are based on. This relationship surpasses a physical attraction which is why I do feel like Madison is further along in Peter’s heart than any of the other ladies. That said, the previews show us a possible conflict that will determine if their beliefs make or break the foundation of what could be.

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Peter and Madison on The Bachelor ABC/Francisco Roman

Faith talks: I get asked all the time if faith is brought up and why we never see those conversations. It is definitely something I brought up to men I saw potential with, to ensure we were on the same page with raising a Christ-centered family and one of the reasons I knew Chris was right for me. For the most part, the faith talks aren’t a main focal point or conflict shown in a relationship so it gets overlooked as a conversation to show. But in the case of Madison and Peter, I think it’s going to end up being her faith and strong beliefs that become the focal point of their conflict if Peter doesn’t agree with them. I’m interested to see how it all pans out — especially after the teaser.

The second strongest relationship I see is with Kelsey. They discuss things that matter in a relationship outside of the show. For him to get a clear image of her family, her past and the experiences that make her who she is are all vital in determining if she is the right one for him — and vice versa. The more she is vulnerable and shares, the more he can share or respond and have a solid connection based on emotion and not only attraction.

Fatal Attraction

That brings me to Victoria F. We can all agree she’s beautiful and Peter has an attraction to her that might be keeping him from reflecting on the obvious concerns. At this point, with relationships growing quickly, Victoria is the most insecure of her relationship with Peter. Not only does she constantly question him but she is clearly questioning herself as she pushes him away with her defensiveness when he is just trying to be honest and figure her out. This relationship would be a cause of concern to me outside of the show. There are too many outside pressures and opinions that would almost be too much for Victoria F. to consume in a new relationship with Peter. Personally, I do really like her because I can see where the insecurity comes from and it’s extremely hard on the heart and mind as you question intention and if you’re the one he wants. Walls are quick to form at this point because you don’t want to get hurt. BUT at the same time, if the walls being built are too strong then it will only keep Peter from getting anywhere and will lead him to end the relationship.

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Peter and Victoria F. on The Bachelor ABC/Francisco Roman

One relationship that continues to grow is with Hannah Ann. It started off a little slow but as she shows more emotion, it pulls on Peter’s heartstrings and makes him want to see more. This relationship will be interesting to watch as I feel like they are in two different seasons of life, not just because of age. What they talk about and how they talk about things isn’t as open and honest as it could be or is with the other relationships. Peter might be more cautious with what and how he says things to her, just because he doesn’t want to hurt her. A relationship needs communication — good, bad and everything in-between — so hopefully, this is a relationship that continues to grow in conversation, vulnerability and depth. The next few weeks are excellent for getting questions of the heart answered so we will see.

I took questions over on Instagram on what you wanted to know most about the show, so here you go!

How much time do you really get when you “steal them away for a second”?

It all depends on the scenario and how many ladies are on the group date or at the rose ceremony. Of course, as the numbers go down, the time you get goes up. I would say the timeframe on average can range anywhere from 10 minutes to 20 minutes.

Do producers have a hand in who you give a date card or rose to?

I get this a lot but surprisingly no. The lead doesn’t know what kind of dates are coming up so sometimes they might ask a producer for help in deciding who to take on which date but you’re never told who to choose for a date or who to keep around. The lead decides on that.

Desiree-Hartsock-Feels-Some-Bachelor-Relationships-Should-Be-Furthur-Along
Desiree Hartsock and Peter Weber Broadimage/Shutterstock; ABC/Maarten de Boer

Do you have to keep the bad/dramatic people to keep the show more interesting?

On the same note as above, the answer is no. I know that’s hard to believe as there are always some really dramatic people that stay around but it’s a numbers game. You can only send home a certain number of people each week. Typically, the lead has no idea what’s going on in the house and usually has a connection or can at least have a good conversation with the person in question, whereas there may be someone else he can barely talk to and needs to send home in place of the drama queen.

Can you eat the food on dates?

Not really. I always took at least one or two bites because the food looked amazing! But you can’t talk and chew so it only makes sense you can’t eat the food while trying to film. We would always have dinner before the date.

Does everything feel super rushed, getting to know the contestants?

Ironically, no. It does seem like a short period of time but in reality, you are filming a date the entire day so technically you have two full dates with someone where, if the time is used wisely, can be beneficial in knowing someone pretty well, pretty quickly. There is no downtime either so in the real world, you would have dates a week or more in between each other, but on the show you might have a one-on-one then see that person the next few days for a rose ceremony and then again a day or two later at a group date. You are actually getting a lot of face time with someone. It’s all about the questions and conversations happening during the time you get.

Make sure to follow me on Instagram for even more!

The Bachelor airs on ABC Mondays at 8 p.m. ET.

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