On Sunday night’s Cynthia Bailey and NeNe Leakes got together for a highly anticipated sit-down in which they attempted to hash out their issues with one another and sift through the rubble of their friendship in search of fragments worth salvaging. However, the reunion hit a major roadblock as the women attempted to make amends.
Very early into the conversation, it was obvious that Cynthia previously referring to NeNe as a “toxic” friend had hit a nerve. And while not many would probably blame Cynthia for referring to her friendship with NeNe as toxic, she still attempted to take accountability for the way that her words may have affected her former friend.
“When you are a friend, you’re an amazing friend. When things go left and you’re not a friend, you’re closed. You shut people off and you pretty much throw them away. So when I said that statement, you said some things,” said Cynthia. “I’m responding to some things. And we both had said a lot. Maybe toxic was a little strong, but I felt like the last time we were together, I was trying to explain a situation to you and I felt like you were completely closed to hearing it.”
Ironically, when it was time for NeNe to take accountability for the things she said about Cynthia — including that she was both “weak” and “insecure,” it came with a caveat. In truly toxic fashion, NeNe admitted to speaking poorly about her friend but instead of apologizing for how her words may have made Cynthia feel, she chose to split hairs and argue that the things Cynthia had said about were far worse than what she had said about Cynthia.
“I’m not going to go back and forth about who said what. We’ve both said some horrible things about each other. I think we can both agree on that,” said Cynthia before going on to add that she believes they share equal responsibility in the feud.
“I think you said a whole lot more than what I said,” NeNe responded.
After realizing that she wasn’t going to be able to back her “weak” and “insecure” former friend into a corner, NeNe walked off in tears. Eventually, Cynthia goes after her and NeNe tearfully tells her how horrible it made her feel to be called a toxic friend. Cynthia proceeds to apologize over and over. Toxic friends are infamous for playing the victim while never truly taking responsibility or accountability for the things that they do to others. After Cynthia apologizes profusely, only then is NeNe able to say sorry but even then, she still doesn’t own what she said.
“I’m sorry. I really am. What I don’t want to do is hurt you,” said NeNe.
While it can definitely be jarring to learn that someone in your life considers you to have toxic qualities, it’s worthwhile to reflect on your actions and consider how they may have given off that impression. To become upset with the person for feeling that way without actually doing a self-check is unproductive. It may feel better to get the other person to walk back their comments but it may not actually change anything or repair the relationship in the long run. If NeNe is as committed to self-improvement as she claims to be, hopefully, she takes a closer look in the mirror. It’s highly unlikely that Cynthia is the first person from her circle to call her toxic, it’s just the first time she’s heard about it.