Some counselors mandate that their patients with eating disorders do not even date until they are fully healed. Since eating disorders are a form of addiction, that does make some sense—alcoholics and drug addicts in AA or NA aren’t supposed to date until they are healed. But an eating disorder doesn’t affect the psyche as strongly as recreational substances do. A person with an eating disorder still has almost total control over their mind and their actions. Only one small part of the brain is affected, but when it is affected, they will act up strongly. That being said, you can carry out a (mostly) stable relationship with someone dealing with an eating disorder, but there are some things you need to know. Here’s what it’s like dating someone with an eating disorder.
She doesn’t want you to know
As someone who is recovered from an eating disorder, I know that when you are in the thick of it, you do not know you have one. Typically, it’s only once someone is recovered from their eating disorder do they understand, looking back, that they had one. For this reason, you cannot use the words “eating disorder” in reference to your partner’s habits. This will upset her, and make her feel like she’s been accused of something. Even if you know she has an eating disorder, you can’t call it out. You can, however, suggest that some of her patterns aren’t good for her.